A little Angry

Yeah,I'ts been long timesince I updated.

I don't knowif I mentioned it here,but when I left the sda church,I said in my resignation letter that I did not want phone calls or visits convincing me to change my mind. I thought it was obvious this was directed at the church board and pastor,as well,the letter was adressed to them.


Nope,turns out they took it to the whole church one Saturday....people i love and miss thought I didn't want them to contact me,and had no idea why I left. (Guess they didn't share THAT part of the letter?

I just feel sick about it...so not my intention. I foudn this out from 2 people..one freind who knew me well enough to know I hadn't intended for her to find out tht way..and another lady who just felt awful thinking I didn't want anything to do with people from the church. She saw me in a store once an didn't come up to me for that reason. Then she saw me again a couple days ago,ad deided to say hi whether I liked it or not...She is going to tell anyone she speaks to at church that I did NOT mean no personal calls or visits.

I jut hate that I hurt people..even thoguhit was so not my intention.

And now I am "leaving" another church. I attended a local baptist church for awhile. Now,,,it's just not where God wants me anymore,ut oce again,i am trying to expain that without hurting anyone.


it's...not personal. I just think the whole corporate worship thing is so messed up. I don't think it's what God wanted. I wanted churh to be another way to worship God....but it felt like He wasn't there. it was just..so empty,like going thru the motions,rather than being real.

Real is..a woman from the church spontaneously praying for me when I talked about some family issues. It's...God telling me out of no where that a good friend needs prayers. It's a good friend calling right hwen I needed to talk,because God told her to. It's my daughter dancing to prasie videos on you tube. Watching her calm down and fall asleep after praying for God to keep her safe,after a bad dream. I could go on..this is just how I live. Worship can happen anytime,anywhere.

God is my life,yanno? it's not just Sunday morning. Prayer isnt just a a part of my life..we are to "pray without ceasing".

That was on issue i had with the Baptist church The last Sunday I was there,the pastor preached on prayer. he said a lot of people think prayer is mostly personal with corporate aspect. he says it's actually the opposite..it is corporate witha personal aspect.


But ,I'm sad as, I REALLY liked the people. Rachel loved Sunday school.

I don't know how to explain any of this without hurting anyone,or coming across as judgmental.

They think they did somethig rong,so i do need to explain..I kowGod will give me the words...Still scared to make the call.